More twitter fun - haikus written in honor of our collaborative profession

An extension of my previous post, I decided to go ahead and compile all the haikus that I could find on twitter that were written in honor of collaborators and accompanists everywhere.  These clever haikus were created about a week ago and went flying across the twitter timeline for a day or so.  I think they are worthy of preservation and could prove to be the perfect comic relief needed on a collaborator's more stressful days.  They might even be useful to those with whom we work - our valiant instrumentalists and singers.  Perhaps they will give some great (or not so great) insight into what to do and what not to do when working with us.  

Special thanks goes to the website, Topsy, where I was able to find these haikus all in one place and to Michael Monroe, @mmmusing, the author of many of these accompanist haikus and the twitter friend that pointed me to Topsy.  Thanks also to all the authors of these wonderful poetic musings.  If anyone notices that one is missing or I've attributed one incorrectly, please add to the comment section to this post.  

Enjoy.

When a singer falls
Off pitch, off rhythm, off beat
I just play louder
@JoseSPiano

No need to turn and
Nod as if I'm the butler
I'll play when you breathe
@sohothedog

Paul Hindemith wrote
sonatas for everyone.
I wish he hadn't
@mmmusing

Critic in Row M:
I accompanied ably.
Last sentence is done.
@alexrossmusic

No really, it's fine.
I'll just guess what those notes were
on the last system
@mmmusing

Sonatas sometimes
have spots where the piano
has the tune - not you.
@mmmusing

Here goes the applause
but don't mind me over here -
I don't need to bow.
@ericasipes

Did you want me to
transpose down a half step
or were you just flat?
@cseapy

Score is in E flat
Playing in B flat as asked
Why are you in C?
@dan_schmidt

I can play softly
even with the lid way up.
It's not a loud switch.
@mmmusing

The Franck Sonata;
so versatile, it even
works with viola.
@mmmusing

Sure, I'll play that piece
from manuscript open score:
once the check has cleared.
@ptjones1

Hal Leonard page turns
turned me into a fan of
IMSLP.
@sohothedog

Why is my music
more difficult than yours is?
Damn you, soloist!
@mschoendorff

A whole orchestra
reduced for only two hands
or maybe for three
@scottblasco

At a certain point
A reduction of "Wozzeck"
Defeats the purpose
@sohothedog

Nobody panic
The measures you just skipped
Didn't matter much
@sheilaheady

I know my music
Do I have to teach you yours?
I'll have to charge more.
@ericasipes

Improvise while the
Soprano makes up German?
All in a day's work
@sohothedog

Sure, I can transpose
Your aria down a step
But it'll cost you
@sohothedog

You think you are
conducting the choir yourself.
The organist leads.
@sinden

It may "be easy"
but give me the music now
because I'm not you.
@ericasipes

What to wear today?
Another day performing -
black, black, black, or black?
@ericasipes

I need a favor...
Can you play Rachmaninoff?
Why are you twitching?
@srslyomg

You hummed a few bars
Is that your real tempo?
Nope.  Not even close.
-Eileen Huang

"Accompanist" is
a dated term.  I prefer
"Collab'rative pack mule."
-geor3ge

We need you to sight
read this piece tomorrow! The
composer'll be there.
-geor3ge

"Hey, could you ditch your
final dress for my hearing?
Um, let me check. No.
-geor3ge

Oh, the life of an
accomp - er - collab'rative
pianist.  My bad.
-chrisfoley









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