Sightreading Reality Check - there's more than meets the eye

I think about the skill of sightreading music a lot. My pontificating on the topic goes hand in hand with my fascination about the brain and about what we are capable of doing as humans, more specifically as musicians, and even more specifically as pianists. Sightreading is a complex, multi-layered task that involves more than our eyes and hands; just to name a few layers, it involves our ears, imagination, problem solving skills, a kinesthetic sense of the keyboard's topography in relation to our own body, and recall of all that we've experienced at the piano previously. The complexity can often overwhelm me when I'm discussing the topic or coaching someone privately, especially since there seems to be two prevalent views of this skill's acquisition:

• You're either born with the skill or you're not so you shouldn't expect to get better
• You can get better by just doing it 

In my opinion, neither of these are correct. I do think some people are perhaps born with skills that help one be more naturally better readers and I also know from personal experience that having constant exposure, especially early on in one's musical journey, can make skill acquisition happen more naturally and easily. But I also believe that it's possible for anyone to improve their sightreading no matter where they are in their journey but it's not through "just doing it" on a regular basis. Yes we need to practice it consistently but we need to do it with strategies in mind to address the many different skills that go into musically processing and reproducing the clouds of black scratches on the page that manage to represent music and all that it can entail. 

I've blogged about much of this before so feel free to check out my other posts on the topic. In today's post I want to share two recent videos that further explain my thoughts on the topic and recommendations for how others can work on sightreading themselves. The first video is on the shorter side. For a more extensive discussion, see the second one.

This first video clip is from the end of the 100th episode of my Sightreading Maverick show, which I livestream most Sundays at 1pm ET on my YouTube channel. 

This second video is an interview I did with David Holter who teaches piano in North Carolina. In the past year he started up a Facebook group specifically for pianists who are interested in improving their sightreading skills called the Piano Sight Reading Community. It's a wonderfully supportive group that now has over 1700 members - I highly recommend joining whether you're a teacher, student, or amateur. We tease out a lot of different issues over the course of 45 minutes. 

If after watching either or both of these you still have any questions or want to share your own experiences or thoughts, please do feel free to comment here. 

Celebrating one year of my sightreading show!

A year ago, in the spring of 2020, as we were all adjusting to being confined to our homes more, I kept trying to figure out how I was going to personally deal with this new scenario, especially since the majority of my income from musical jobs was cut off and I had a lot more free time on my hands. I was also struggling with not getting the regular bursts of adrenalin that come with being a performer and having the interactions with my audience that I so love and feed off of. 

One of the crazy ideas I came up with was to live-stream myself sightreading piano music for one hour. Why do that, one might ask? My answer?  I love sightreading, I'm pretty good at it and I figured I could use this time to explore solo piano repertoire. The only down-side I could think of was that I would be also be setting myself up for falling on my face publicly on a regular basis. But since I have a bit of a reputation for being stubborn and for wanting to be transparent as a musician, I decided the down-side could possibly be turned into an up-side. I wanted other musicians, pianists especially, to discover the joys that can come from being a good sight-reader:

• moments of struggle can actually be pretty amusing
• we can sightread musically if we approach it with skill and the right mindset
• there's a lot we can learn about ourselves as musicians from doing it on a regular basis
• that there are things we can do as musicians to help ourselves be set up for more success prior to jumping in
  
• oftentimes what we think was a disaster in the moment really wasn't so bad
  
  

A year after live-streaming the first episode it's safe to say that Sightreading Maverick is now one of the things I look forward to most in my week. I don't have a lot of regular viewers, at least not that I know of, but I have a faithful crew that regularly watches live and chats via messaging during the show. There's also one viewer who routinely watches at night, after the show is done, messaging me his reactions the whole time. That is always hilarious. I also have several who regularly send in requests. I'm very grateful for their suggestions. 

Every now and then I'll get feedback from people who have watched that they've added pieces to their repertoire that they discovered through the show - that brings me such joy to hear that. At times I  sightread works by composers who are friends or acquaintances of mine on Twitter - that's also been wonderfully rewarding. For me that gives me a completely different glimpse into who they are as people, artists, and friends. I should add here that I'm grateful that they've all been willing to let me subject their music to the risks that a part of sight-reading. They too are brave! 

So almost a year later, with 47 episodes in the books, 2 guest appearances (thanks to Tracy Cowden and the Ivory Duo Piano Ensemble), almost 300 different piano pieces sightread, I'm going to keep at it until I run out of music. If you've never watched before, please do check it out and pass on the word about the show. The easiest way to be reminded about it is to subscribe to my YouTube channel. 

You can also watch episodes whenever you wish. Here's the playlist of everything that's on YouTube.

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Standing on my soapbox on another blog

A few weeks ago on Twitter I shared a story about an interesting conversation I had with a colleague where I teach. The conversation that ensued after I posted that story was a brief but important one that led to the wonderful composer, piano pedagogue, and writer Melanie Spanswick asking if I'd write up a post based on the topic. How could I say no?

The thoughts I wrote about in this blog post, "Flipping Musical Misperceptions on their Heads," are near and dear to my heart in many ways so please do take a read and contribute your own experiences and thoughts if you wish.

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My journey down a wonderful rabbit hole - discovering music composed by women

It all started several years ago, in the summer of 2017. I had been asked by a flute player, Sarah Wardle Jones, if I would play piano for a recital she had put together of music composed by women, a particular interest of hers. I of course said yes, not because of the program itself, but simply because I rarely turn down an opportunity to perform. I very quickly realized after saying yes, much to my puzzlement and embarrassment, that I had never, in my entire schooling and career covering 39 years (!) performed anything written by a woman. I couldn't even name on one hand the names of female composers. Fanny Hensel, Clara Schumann, and Cécile Chaminade. That was it. 

The recital was a joy. It was refreshing to peer into a world I hadn't previously known and Sarah's enthusiasm for the composers (Anna Bon, Cécile Chaminade, Lili Boulanger, Sofia Gubaidulina, and Jennifer Higdon), was inspiring. I found myself feeling like Alice by the end of the experience, standing at the very top of a very deep but thrilling hole that contains a new musical cornucopia of creativity and expression I had yet to discover. 

I jumped in. 

I'm still on my long journey down. 

I'm constantly discovering new wonders along the way. 

At the end of 2018, Sarah and a friend of hers, clarinetist Michelle Smith Johnson, and I put together a fun Halloween concert. I don't believe in that particular performance we performed anything written by a woman, but that project brought the three of us together. Over wine and appetizers one evening we found ourselves chatting about the possibility of forming an ensemble and we all decided that what we wanted was to focus on shining a light on works written by women and commissioning new works. It was shortly thereafter that our trio, at the beginning of 2019, The Alma Ensemble, was born, named in honor of Alma Mahler.

Farther down the rabbit hole, at the beginning of 2020, I was thrilled to be able to finally meet in person Sandra Mogensen, a pianist who had long been a friend of mine on Twitter. She was in the United States to present some recitals and presentations to celebrate and announce the release of her first recordings in a series she's doing called "En pleine lumière" which features all works composed by women. In talking with her during her visit I think we both realized that we shared many of the same frustrations, especially in terms of finding scores for these composers whose voices really need to be heard. When they can be found they are often significantly more expensive, sometimes prohibitively so. Another point we also found ourselves frustrated by is that many anthologies and method books for pianists just beginning their journey don't feature female composers. At that point in our discussion we started trying to figure out what we could do and it dawned on us that both of us had regularly been looking to the online resource, IMSLP to find scores. We decided that perhaps we could both comb through the listings and create a shareable spreadsheet that would list all of the piano pieces composed by women on the site. With IMSLP being a free resource, this would ensure that anyone who had access to a computer could also have access to the music that's there. Sandra agreed to start at "A," I started at "Z" working backwards, and we eventually met in the middle. By the summer we had our spreadsheet roughly put together.  Part I was complete.

Part II of our project started at the end of the summer. We created a YouTube channel, Piano Music, She Wrote, and started posting our own recording of works we've discovered in our IMSLP quest. So far we've faithfully posted 2 every week. We now stand at over 40 videos and have many, many more to go! 

We now find ourselves in Part III. We set ourselves the goal of releasing our spreadsheet publicly once our YouTube channel reached 300 subscribers. Last weekend our goal was achieved! So now, if people want an easy, quick way to discover the piano pieces written by women that have scores on IMSLP available to download for free, folks can head to our Ko-Fi store. We are asking for a minimum donation of $10.00 US to get the url for our spreadsheet. That is to cover the hundreds of hours we've already put into this project and will continue to put into it. This spreadsheet is a living, breathing one. We'll regularly be updating it as new works are added to the score database. We are also donating 10% of every donation back to IMSLP since without them, none of this would have been possible.  

We've had several people mention that purchasing access to the spreadsheet on behalf of others, like piano students or teachers, would make a great virtual stocking stuffer, holiday gift, or graduation gift and we couldn't agree more. To make that possible, when purchasing access, any quantity can be selected. If people have 10 pianists they'd like to send the url to, they can simply select "10" as the quantity and then voilá, they'll be all set. 

Here's our video announcement about our spreadsheet in case you want to learn more: 

And here's a shorter, 2 minute version of the same video if you're short on time:

Sandra and I have many more stages forthcoming so stay tuned! We'd also like to start planning a world tour once this pandemic is all said and done so if anyone wants us to come share what we've learned, both through recitals and presentations, let us know! 

Back to the rabbit hole analogy. I feel like I'm still only a fraction of the way down this hole and I couldn't be more thrilled about that. There is clearly much more to discover. Often I find myself researching one composition and am led to another fantastic one...and then another...and another. It never seems to end. So much music I've never heard, so many composers I've never heard of but should have!  Thankfully there are many others out there who are also on this same journey. I encourage anyone else who's interested to join in the fun and to share what you find. Let's get more of this fantastic music accessible and available to all. I think Für Elise and The Happy Farmer would be happy to step aside for a while. 

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New YouTube series - Bach in 5 Minutes!

Video editing has always intimidated me but I've been determined, especially after putting up my Patreon page, to start working on doing more of them. Here's the first hopefully of many. A Bach friend of mine recently recommended I take a break from Book II of Bach's Well-Tempered Klavier to learn Book I. I was hesitant at first but after reading through it I realized that for the most part, it's a breath of fresh air compared to the second book. So I thought, why not try to learn them as quickly as possible? I most likely will regret those words but I do always like a good challenge. So I'm going to try to spend as little as possible time learning as many as I can, relying on my typical pattern-hunting and analysis method, then spending around 5 minutes walking through each one, one at a time, and then recording a "first performance" of them. My goals for the project are:  

• Learn the Preludes and Fugues in Book I quickly
• Help folks see what I mean by learning music via pattern hunting and analysis
• Show how fun, musical, and rewarding it can be to learn music in this way

We'll see what happens! Enjoy!! 

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At a fork in the road

I find myself at a fork in the road yet again, as are so many others. But in all honesty, I'm actually excited about the possibilities, especially with what I'm announcing today, because in doing this I am pushing myself way past my comfort zone, which is not something I tend to do.

In the past few weeks, as I've been grappling with what comes next for me as a musician, or maybe as someone returning to the non-artist workforce, I've had several quotes visit me that are all pointing me towards one path.

"Do one thing every day that scares you"  - Mary Schmich

I'm doing that.

For quite a while now I've toyed around with the idea of creating a Patreon site for myself. What is Patreon? Patreon is a web platform that enables creative people to ask their fans for help and support so that they can continue doing what they do. People interested in supporting an artist can sign up to donate an amount every month and in return, based on which tier is signed up for, patrons get access to various perks.


So why is this so scary? To answer that, let me share the second quote that has graciously visited me this week by way of the beautiful, poignant story, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, written by Charlie Mackesy. (I highly, highly recommend everyone have a copy on their coffee table, especially right now during this crazy time.)

"What is the bravest thing you've ever said?" asked the boy.

"Help." said the horse.

"Asking for help isn't giving up," said the horse. "It's refusing to give up."

Most people who know me already know that I am incredibly passionate about music, and more specifically about the art of learning music in a way that fosters success, pride, joy, and the desire to share music with others. About 7 or 8 years ago I started my practice coaching business, Beyond the Notes, because of this passion. I've had some clients and have presented many workshops to both teachers and students, and each time has been received with a lot of positive feedback but honestly it's been difficult - I simply haven't had enough work come my way. I've spent many a sleepless night trying to figure out what's standing in my way. I've made some changes, I've consulted with a lot of people, and I continue to try new things but one of the most difficult hurdles to overcome has to do, I believe, with people being embarrassed to ask for help - and that's challenging. I also think a lot of teachers also don't know quite what to make of me - to some I seem to be a threat. I am not planning on abandoning my business - I will continue to work on making it a success, but in the meantime, Patreon is, I'm hoping, a solution to keep me from having to ditch it all to get another "regular" job.

So why Patreon?

People come to me all the time on social media for help. It it crystal clear to me that for whatever reason, that is a safer place for them to ask me questions about practicing, performance anxiety, sightreading, and anything else that I regularly talk about. And social media is, for me, an excellent place to teach in way that impacts a lot of people all at once. I regularly livestream my daily practice to hundreds of people every day in addition to also livestreaming sightreading sessions. In both I discuss a lot of why I do what I do so that it's a learning experience for anyone watching. Often times questions arise from viewers that lead to discussions that end up pulling in many others. It's a dynamic, exciting, informative, and more importantly, a safe place to learn, which is why I love it. I also regularly post motivational quotes and tips on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. I'd love to also return to writing more blog posts and to post shorter instructional videos but all of this takes a lot of time - time that I'm not currently getting paid for.

During all this time at home I've been continuing to do all this same work but because of the current situation I'm not making any money through freelancing; that all came to a halt several months ago and gigs are regularly getting wiped off my calendar. We are thankfully doing fine, but I'm feeling more and more like something needs to change. I feel guilty putting so much time into what I consider my "mission-oriented" work when I'm not bringing home a paycheck. That's why I'm asking for help. I'm asking for support and for cheerleaders who understand what it is I do to stand up and to say, "Yes! Keep doing what you're doing! We see the value in it!"

So if you're at all interested, please head on over to my Patreon site:

https://www.patreon.com/EricaSipes

Take a look around and let me know if you have any questions.

And thanks for reading if you made it this far. Stay safe, everyone!

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The Well-Tempered Pianist: exploring a pianist's life through music

A few years ago, at the age of 40,  I found myself struggling to "make it" as a professional musician. I seem to have always found distractions in my life to keep me from whole-heartedly pursuing what it is I truly love the most so this wasn't a complete change or anything, but that didn't make my mid-life crisis any easier to deal with.

After school, I got married. 
After getting married I was a music-minister's wife and my role was by my husband's side (at least that was my excuse.)
After he left church work and was pursuing his doctorate I had to bring home a salary to support us.
After he got his first teaching job at a university, I got pregnant.

You get the picture.

When our daughter got to be old enough, I dropped the mom excuse and earnestly attempted to piece together a musical career, through collaborative work, teaching at a local university, and then as a practice coach. Nothing really worked out for various reasons. Door after door closed. I took at it as personal rejection when in reality, I think it had more to do with me always finding excuses to not keep at it.

Then I hit 40. I felt utterly disappointed in myself. Music is my passion. Music is my religion. Music is quite simply me and I had let it slip out of my hands.

A few years before I had told myself that someday I wanted to have learned all 24 preludes and fugues from Bach's second book of the Well-Tempered Clavier. I dreamed of being able to sit down and play through all 24. That would be my all I would need to die happy and feeling like I had done something. 

It took a while, a couple of years I believe, but I did just that. I got them all learned. But then that wasn't enough. I decided I wanted to perform them all.  But who wants to sit and listen to all 24 at one sitting?  Or two sittings? That's when my Well-Tempered Pianist series popped into my mind.  

I decided that I would put together 6 recitals. Each one would feature 4 preludes and fugues and I would intersperse among them pieces that meant something to me from throughout my musical life, The series would be my musical autobiography.  

I'm now near the end of my second presentation of the entire series and I am so very thankful that I've been able to do this and that people have received it with such interest, acceptance, and excitement.  In between pieces I've been taking a few moments to walk the audience through my life and to connect the music I'm performing with the most significant points in my timeline. That too has been enlightening to me although I have to admit sometimes it's been a bit distracting to talk about an aspect of my life that meant a lot to me and then have to perform. I often find my mind and heart dwelling on what I just talked about and see the colors and sounds I normally associate with a given piece of music change into something I've never quite considered. In spite of some surprises in that way, it's been incredibly rewarding, especially since the audience has been receiving it so well too. Each recital finds me talking with audience members for quite some time afterwards, answering questions, hearing their own stories...it's been a tangibly reciprocal series of events.  

As for my mid-life crisis, I'm still in the middle of it. The recital series didn't fix that little problem. But it did remind me that even though I may not be able to support myself as a professional musician, I am a pianist with a very musical soul and people want to hear me and hear the music I have to offer them. That is enough for me...for now.

I highly recommend musicians do something like this if they think it might be of interest to them. So often I think we don't think the audiences want to know about who we are; that we are there to serve the music and that is all. What I'm finding, however, is that at least in this part of the country, in this atmosphere and culture, the personal aspect is appealing as well and encourages more of a conversation between performer and audience. 

For those of you who might find it interesting, here is a listing of what has been on each program. Please excuse any discrepancies in formatting.

Recital I: At the very beginning

Prelude and Fugue in C major
Beethoven's Für Elise
Clementi Sonatina in D major
Prelude and Fugue in C minor
Bartók Sonatina
Prelude and Fugue in C# major
Mozart Sonata in C major, KV 545
Prelude and Fugue in C# minor
Selections from Schumann's "Scenes from Childhood"

Recital II: A musical life in San Francisco

Prelude and Fugue in D major
Chopin Fantasie-Impromptu, Op. 66
Opening to the slow movement of Ravel's G major piano concerto
Prelude and Fugue in D minor
Dvorák's Slavonic Dances, numbers 1 & 2 from Op. 48 (sightread at performance on purpose)
Prelude and Fugue in E flat major
The Swan from Saint-Saën's "Carnival of the Animals" (I used to play cello too)
Prelude and Fugue in D# minor
Selections from Debussy's "Children's Corner"

Recital III: College living

Prelude and Fugue in E major
Debussy's L'isle joyeuse
Prelude and Fugue in E minor
Hwaen Ch'uqi's Souvenir 
Prelude and Fugue in F major
Rachmaninoff's Prelude in B minor, Op. 32, no. 10
Prelude and Fugue in F minor
Selections from Satie's "Sports et divertissements"

Recital IV: From the Golden Gate to the Alps (about my months working as a restaurant pianist)

Debussy's 1st Arabesque
Prelude and Fugue in F# major
Bill Evans' Waltz for Debby
Prelude and Fugue in F# minor
Beryl Rubinstein's concert transcription of "Summertime" from Porgy and Bess
Prelude and Fugue in G major
September Song from Knickerbocker Holiday (performed with my husband, baritone Tadd Sipes)
I Got Plenty O' Nuttin' from Porgy and Bess
Johanna from Sweeney Todd 
Prelude and Fugue in G minor

Recital V: Marriage, becoming a mom, and more

Prelude and Fugue in A flat major
Ravel's Jeux d'eau
Prelude and Fugue in G# minor
Finzi's Eclogue (performed with organ instead of string orchestra)
Prelude and Fugue in A major
Gounod's "O divine redeemer" (performed with a student I collaborated with and taught)
Sorenson's "In this hour"
Prelude and Fugue in A minor
Radnich's arrangement of "Hedwig's Theme" from Harry Potter

Recital VI: Looking ahead

Prelude and Fugue in B flat major
Selections from Schubert's "Wintereisse" (performed with my husband, baritone Tadd Sipes)
Prelude and Fugue in B flat minor
Tiersen's "A song from another summer" from the movie Amelie
Prelude and Fugue in B major
Pärt's Für Alina
Prelude and Fugue in B minorHough's transcription of "My Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music




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Finding my roots in new soil

The last few years have been interesting.  I have gone from both my husband and I teaching in universities and performing to both of us moving out of academia, relocating to a new town, and taking up a job in a completely different field.  For the past two years I have been working in retail in toy stores, most recently as a manager of a new one.  I decided to put aside my music for an indeterminate time to give my ailing elbows a much needed break and to give myself the space I needed to revisit how I approach the piano, hopefully opting for a more healthy one.  I had also put aside this blog and my practice coaching business because I wasn't convinced that I was being effective in what I was trying to do: I didn't necessarily know if people wanted to hear what I had to say; my website for my business wasn't getting enough traffic in spite of trying to do what I thought was necessary - SEO optimization, use of ideal tags, and other factors I really don't understand; I wasn't getting any new practice coaching clients; I wasn't getting very much feedback after delivering my talks on practicing and learning music.  In short, I felt like I had reached the end of a road.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so in spite of the challenges and insecurities I've faced these past few years, I have always had a sense that music and my research on and passion for the process of reading and learning music was simply in hibernation mode.  In spite of my silence, I can assure you that my mind still manages to stay in high gear most of the time.  One of Rainer Maria Rilke's lines from his Letters to a Young Poet come to my mind at this point...

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.  Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language.  Do not now look for the answers... At present you need to live the question.  Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.

That's where I am right now, friends.  I am living the question.  I am living in the moment.  I am living.  And in this new place where I find myself, a place without any clear future, I am realizing that I don't necessarily care whether or not I am a "professional" musician.  I am a musician and I am me.  That is, at least for right now, enough for me.

I am back to practicing and learning new music.
I am back to performing again and have set up 6 recitals over the 2016-2017 year that will enable me to perform all 24 preludes and fugues in Bach's Well-Tempered Clavier, a project I started many, many years ago.
I am back to playing music with others and with such great joy and excitement!
I am still working in a toy store but also hoping to write again and to teach anyone who would be interested in finding out the way I perceive of music.

I am, in other words, being me once again, only in a different type of soil, with new roots, a new environment, and lots of fresh air.

Not a bad place in which to find myself.

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Giveaway of my book, Inspired Practice and SPECIAL SALE!!!!

A few weeks ago I was contacted by the inspiring and wonderful Wendy Stevens - pianist, composer, blogger, and entrepreneur extraordinaire.  If you haven't run across her before, you need to get to know her, especially if you are a pianist and even more so if you are studio teacher.  She has so many brilliant ideas, great resources on her website, has written some amazing, fun rhythm books, writes wonderful compositions, and is so willing to share what she has learned from her years of teaching. I've admired her for years and have purchased a lot of her products so when she asked if I'd be willing to donate a copy of my book, Inspired Practice,  for her to give away on her own website,  of course I was delighted and honored to say YES!

The giveaway is going on for another 6 days,  ending on November 14th at 11:45pm.  All you have to do is go to her blog, read her little interview with me and then enter!  Actually, you don't really have to read through the interview, but why not?  There's a link within the post that will take you to the giveaway.  And be sure to check out the myriad of ways you can increase your chances of winning.  The more you share the private link you're given when you enter with others, the more entries you get!  What fun!

But wait, there's more!! 

I was going to wait until I had written my 300th blog post (only 2 more to go!), but I felt like now was the right time to put on sale both the softcover of my book and the PDF version.  It's the least I can do to thank everyone for reading my blog and my Facebook page on a regular basis.  So for right now, for a mysterious length of time, the prices are:

Softcover - $20.00 plus applicable taxes/shipping & handling (normally $28.95)
PDF - $5.99 (normally $9.99)

So what are you waiting for?  Help me celebrate my almost-300th post by buying one for yourself, your teacher, your students, or a friend.

Click here to see more info about the book and to place an order.

Many thanks to everyone who reads and comments on my blog.  I appreciate knowing that people are reading the crazy things I have to say! 


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New livestreaming project! "Practice on a Dime of Time"

I've decided to get back into livestreaming my practice sessions.  This time my goal is to record in shorter segments, between 10 and 20 minutes at a time which is why I'm calling this series, as corny as it is, "Practice on a Dime of Time."  My thought is that:

• people don't have time to listen to me practice all day.
• I don't have time to practice all day.
• I have a difficult time finding large blocks of time when our piano is available to play since my husband uses the studio to teach much of the day.
• it's better for me (and most people) to practice in small little segments.
• it might be interesting and informative for people to see that improvement can actually happen in a short amount of time.

For those of you who have never seem me do this, it's probably helpful to know that I narrate what's going on in my head while I'm practicing.  You'll see and hear me give myself feedback (hopefully in a civil way), problem solve, test out various strategies, and explore musical choices in the process.  And yes, you will probably catch some not-so-good practice strategies as well - I am human, after all.  I actually think there's value in seeing me flail every now and then.

My goal is to do this on a regular basis but I'll be pretty sporadic in terms of what time of day I'll be livestreaming.  I will tweet and post on my Facebook page when I'm about to go live so keep an eye on my postings if you want to catch one.  I'll also be checking the social media streams in between sessions so if you have a pressing question that arises while watching, let me know and I'll try to answer you promptly.

If you miss the livestream sessions you'll be able to watch them on my ustream channel for up to 30 days or on my YouTube playlist at any time.

Here are my three sessions from today.  I particularly love (hear the sarcasm!) the thumbnail image that accompanies the first video - yikes!  I hope you find something useful in watching them and please do spread the word!











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A brave but beautiful new world

Life has been so good to me lately.  A bit baffling, but good.  I've been adding "workshop presenter" to my list of things that I do and even though this had never been part of my picture and I'm still getting used to being on stage in this different sort of way, I'm enjoying the benefits so much that it's far outweighing the newness of it all.

So far I've presented two different workshops:

• "Behind Closed Doors - a discussion about what really goes on in the practice room" 
• "Musical Investigations - making music learning more engaging and musical"

It's been interesting to realize that presenting workshops is a bit like performing music.  I feel each one is still a work in progress and I have a sneaking suspicion that how I present them is going to be different each time but I can safely say that I have fallen in love with the topics and am finding myself energized by having the opportunity to share what I've learned over the past few years with others.  I also love the fact that I walk away knowing a lot more myself from listening to the teachers, parents, and students that attend.  There is such a wealth of information out there and I love being in the middle of it all.

This past weekend I was down in Pensacola, Florida, presenting for the folks in the MTNA chapter there.  I was especially looking forward to this one because it meant I was finally going to meet two twitter friends and fellow bloggers in person, Victor Andzulis and Monika Durbin.  (For folks who don't know much about twitter, this is known as a "tweet-up.")  We had a wonderful time at the workshop and I got to hear about some of the struggles and successes the teachers there have been experiencing in regards to getting their students (and the students' parents) thinking more creatively in the practice room.  I was also really excited this visit to be able to present not only a mini-recital with my dear colleague, soprano Youngmi Kim, but to also give a masterclass for young piano collaborators.  This was a first for me in a formal sense even though I've coached plenty of people in one-on-one settings and I just loved it!  It was a fun challenge for me to tie together everything I had discussed in the workshop in the morning with what how I approached the recital repertoire we were performing and then to help the students get a sense of those same concepts themselves.  Being able to share my love of the art of collaboration and the music itself was exhilarating and getting to hear and see young people playing music with one another while having fun put me on cloud 9 for hours...no wait, make that days...oh heck, I'm still there!!  

Needless to say, I'm hoping that this masterclass thing will become an option for whenever I conduct a workshop.  

So onward!  At this point I have another workshop scheduled in November over in Chesapeake, Virginia and then possibly a workshop weekend in Tennessee in February.  Meanwhile I have ideas for other topics I want to start discussing so I have lots of work ahead of me!  

I'll try to keep my upcoming events listed in the sidebar of this blog so keep checking there.  If you find out that I'm going to be in your area, please do let me know if you want more information.  

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Want to know what I think about practicing?

A few weeks ago Sam Rao, the CEO and developer of a soon to be released practice app called Practicia, asked me to do an interview with him.  As usual I had a bit of a difficult time keeping my answers short and sweet - I always have so much to say about practicing!  I wanted to share the interview here since we covered a lot of ground.  And if you want to read my blog post about Practicia, just click here.  Enjoy!

PRACTICIA: What started you on the path to thinking about practicing and becoming a practice coach?
EAS: My role as a practice coach evolved very naturally alongside my role as a piano collaborator and accompanist. I spend a lot of time in practice rooms with students for rehearsals and I have a very hard time just playing. Maybe I should say it this way – I have a difficult time keeping my mouth shut, especially when I can tell that a musician is frustrated with a certain passage in the music or when I hear the same mistakes being made. As soon as I started speaking up and offering to help musicians work through problems I realized what a relief it can be for people to have some guidance in the practice room. Of course teachers are crucial in helping students learn the art of practicing but more often than not the time spent with one another is only an hour a week during lessons. Students are then left on their own for 7 times that amount if they practice an hour a day. If they practice 3 hours a day, 6 times a week, that’s 17 hours. That’s a lot of time to be frustrated - too much time, in my book.

The teachers of the students with whom I have worked, have also grown to value my work because I act as a fresh, new voice. It’s like a common issue that parents deal with - as a parent I can tell my child 10 times to do something but have no effect on her. But if a teacher or someone she respects asks her to do the exact same thing she immediately follows through. I enjoy helping teachers by reinforcing and elaborating on what they are trying to teach their students and being there in the practice room to help bring the process of refinement from the studio into the practice room – to help the students become independent “practicers”.

Last but not least, I was encouraged to take my role as a practice coach more seriously when I began tweeting about practicing several years ago. It quickly became clear that there is a lot of mystery that surrounds the topic and I felt it was time to change that. Being open about my frustrations and joys in the practice room and on the stage has inspired a lot of valuable conversation between professionals, amateurs, and students alike and that’s a good thing, I think.

I truly believe people want to talk about practicing and to learn how to improve what they do on their own – my goal is to be there to guide and to cheer folks on in that pursuit because regardless of whether or not they become musicians professionally, the skills learned by practicing well are the skills that are most needed in our society – problem solving, collaboration, creativity, and persistence.

PRACTICIA: What is the value of a practice "boot camp"?
EAS: The practice boot camp gives me the opportunity to look at the whole of what a musician is doing in the practice room rather than just focusing on specific issues that they might have. When people sign up for this service I ask them to videotape themselves while practicing for either one large chunk of time, preferably around 45 minutes, or in smaller chunks. It’s amazing how reluctant most people are to doing this! That, in itself, is very revealing. I then watch the recordings on my own and am able to pick up just about everything I need to know to begin the work of revamping a client’s approach to practicing. Through the video recordings I am able to catch visual and audio cues, many of which are psychological and have nothing to do with technique, that give me a glimpse into what’s going on in the client’s mind. After putting together a detailed list of recommendations, I go over them with the clients, either in person or via the Internet, and answer any questions that they may have. Together the client and I come up with a plan of action for the next week or so after which they make another recording for me to review after they’ve had a chance to tweak their practicing. After another follow-up the client is usually well on his or her way to adopting a new attitude that allows them to healthfully and effectively work independently.

PRACTICIA: How did you come up with the title "Beyond the Notes" for your website?
EAS: I came up with that name back in 2009 when I started writing my blog by the same name. One of the things I’ve noticed with young musicians especially is that there is a strong focus on the individual notes on the page. All those black dots tend to overwhelm rather than inspire. My goal is to help musicians see beyond those black dots in order to see the fascinating language they create and to learn to speak in that language so that their own emotions and experiences can be spoken through music.

PRACTICIA: In your opinion, why do most students struggle with practicing?
EAS: I believe many students struggle because done the traditional way, full of mindless repetition while counting down minutes on the clock, it is usually mind-numbingly boring and devoid of creativity and thought. It isn’t fun to practice that way. And when practicing is mindless, effective practicing tends not to happen which means mistakes are more likely to occur and endless repetitions take forever to be fruitful. We are human. We like to see results. We like to feel successful. The traditional way of practicing, in my opinion, doesn’t get us to that point which is why heading to the practice room can often feel like torture. I truly believe that if we can make practicing a creative process, a mystery that requires us to ask lots of interesting questions, or a game that encourages us to quickly and accurately learn music, practicing can become something that musicians look forward to and not dread

PRACTICIA: What are the most common practice flaws that you have observed?
EAS:
-Playing too quickly or too slowly.
-Not stopping when mistakes occur to figure out what caused the mistake and problem solving.
-Starting from the beginning too much of the time.
-Starting with the easiest material and leaving the hardest parts for later, when you’re brain and body are already tired.
-Talking to oneself negatively rather than giving oneself neutral feedback.
-Not having an understanding of rhythm, meter, and pulse.
-Trying to do too much at once (learning left and right hand at the same time; a singer trying to learn pitches, rhythms, and text at the same time)
-Not isolating problem spots and then once learned, working it back into the fabric of the piece.
-Depending too much on the metronome to provide a steady pulse.
-Not writing fingerings, bowings, breathes or accidentals in the score.

PRACTICIA: How can teachers help improve the quality of student practice?
EAS: I think teachers can help the student develop a healthy vocabulary to use in the practice room. Rather than saying, “That was horrible!” for instance, the teacher can help the student re-think how to address what they didn’t like and to rephrase it in a more neutral tone… “I think I want a more warm sound here. Let’s try that again.” I also think teachers can help students to see what good problem solving can look like. Lessons go by so quickly that I think it can be tempting for us as teachers to jump right in when we hear something we like to direct what should be done rather than walking the student through a process. Time may not always allow for this but a little bit would go a long way. Or perhaps teachers could intentionally set aside a portion of a lesson now and then to do some guided practice with their students

I would also encourage teachers to livestream or videotape their own practice sessions for their students to watch. As teachers, we are like superheroes to our students. I don’t think they realize that we too are human…that we have good and bad days in the practice room, that we get stumped, and that we make mistakes, even. I livestreamed my practice sessions for a while a couple of years ago and was amazed at the positive feedback from teachers, professional musicians, students…everyone. Practicing is an art, but it shouldn’t be a mystery.

With the soon-to-be-unveiled app, PRACTICIA, teachers will also be able to check in on their students’ practicing and to offer suggestions during the time in between lessons. I’m very eager to see how we can use this to encourage more thoughtful, encouraging, and effective practicing.

PRACTICIA: How can parents (especially those without a musical background) help their children work better?
EAS: Instead of focusing on how much time is spent in the practice room, a pretty common thing for parents and teachers to focus on, parents can help their kids choose small, do-able, mini goals. When something gets in the way of achieving those goals, parents can help the student problem solve. “Why are you stuck? Do you know what bowing you’re supposed to be doing? Do you know what fingering you should be using?” Parents can also ask questions to inspire creativity. “What does this part of the piece sound like to you? Does it sound like someone who’s happy? Do you think there might be a conversation going on here or maybe even an argument?” I think parents can also help students to identify when they need to walk away from the instrument when they are getting frustrated and problem solving isn’t getting anywhere. Sometimes breaks are necessary but this can be challenging to accept when the focus is on getting in that half-hour the teacher requires every day. Keep this in mind, though - bad practicing can undermine good practicing in a very short amount of time and the state of mind a musician tends to have when practicing is the state of mind they will have on the stage in performance. Cultivating a positive attitude in the practice room will pay off when it comes time to perform.

In summary, even if a parent doesn’t have a musical background I believe he or she can help the student move away from practicing that is boring, mindless, and frustrating.

PRACTICIA: What do you think about extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivation in practicing?
EAS: I am not a huge extrinsic motivation fan myself but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a good thing. Ever since I started music, when I was 5, I have been intrinsically motivated and for that I’m grateful. It probably saved my parents and my teacher a lot of stickers and M&Ms too! But I realize I may have been a bit of an odd child. With that said, I think that especially with younger children, rewards can be very motivating as long as they aren’t bribes. (They are different!) I do think, however, that a good goal for parents and teachers is to help make music learning and practicing creative and positive enough that children will quickly become inspired on their own to engage mindfully in practice. They will see that how they choose to practice and deal with difficulties directly affects the outcome and then those outcomes keep improving and they see and hear what they are capable of, magical things can start to happen in a self-directed way.

PRACTICIA: What is the value of practicing away from the instrument? Can it be overdone?
EAS: I am a huge advocate for practicing away from the instrument for many reasons. It inspires creativity and kinesthetic learning; it enables a student to process notes on the page without involving technical issues that arise the minute he or she is at the instrument; it can also be done anywhere, anytime. With younger students I think practicing away from the instrument can be overdone. Students need a certain amount of time with their instrument, developing technique and making musical patterns part of their language. As students get older, however, I think the ratio between at-the-instrument and away-from-the-instrument practice can shift. There are many stories of professionals that learn pieces on the plane on the way to the concert – that’s definitely one end of the spectrum and would be an interesting goal for any musician to shoot for eventually.

PRACTICIA: How important do you think is musical knowledge (theory, solfege etc) in practicing?
EAS: I think it is very important – it is one way to get “beyond the notes” and leads to interpretation rather than just regurgitation. But theory can be intimidating for many students, myself included, which is why I think it’s helpful to teach those things in a way that directly applies to the music students are learning. They are more open to learning the concepts if they can see that knowing the theory can help them make decisions with regard to how they want to play the music. With solfege, understanding what the value of solfege is can make the process of learning it more palatable. I’m not a big fan of the “Just learn it, it’s like taking your medicine!” approach to teaching these concepts.

PRACTICIA: How did you come about writing your book "Inspired Practice" and what is it about?
EAS: My book was a bit of an experiment. For several years readers of my blog had told me that I should write a book but I found the idea very intimidating. To me, my blog is like my personal journal. It doesn’t feel as set in stone as a book. My fear was that I’d publish my thoughts and then the next week I’d change my mind about everything I had written. My compromise was to put together what I call a coffee-table book for the practice room and music studio with nuggets of information that I find myself telling people and myself all the time. Because I’m a very visual person, I wanted to also include good images that would illustrate those same concepts. I also decided to throw in some quotes that I find particularly inspiring, some by other musicians that write about practicing, others by non-musicians. My hope was that people could turn to a different page in the book every day to give them a burst of inspiration for their practice sessions.

I am just starting work on another book that I’m very excited about. I’m avoiding the traditional format again, choosing instead a workbook format for both students and teachers to help encourage creative score investigation that will be flexible enough to be used by students of every age and level. I’m very excited about it!

PRACTICIA: What are your top three bits of advice to students about practicing?
EAS:
- It’s about mini goals accomplished, not about time.
- It’s about process, not the end product and perfection.
- If you approach practicing using your whole body in harmony with your whole mind, with creativity, curiosity, and problem solving skills, your practicing will bring you to a place of security and originality that will allow you to deliver performances you’ll be proud of and that audiences will receive as a very unique gift.

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Insisting on seeing possibility after the storm

It's been a while since I last posted. A lot has happened over this past year, some of which has been challenging physically and emotionally but in all honesty I really don't regret any of it. I find myself now in a completely different place and time and even though part of me tells me I should be wallowing in self pity, I won't. I am happy. A little lost perhaps, but definitely happy.

I have been quite vague about my situation much of the time because I don't like to get wrapped up in drama and because I don't like to speak when I'm in the midst of a storm. I prefer to wait until the dust has settled so that I don't say something I might regret. But I woke up this morning with a very clear voice telling me it was time. So here we are.

Some folks may remember that a few years ago my husband was denied tenure at the institution where he had been working. We decided at that point that we didn't want to pick up everything and move in the search of a new career in academia. We live in an absolutely gorgeous part of the country and our school system is a very good one. We decided to stay and my husband started teaching voice privately. I had already started working as an adjunct professor and accompanist at another local college and I also had a lot of work freelancing around the area so I focused on my work and found myself at the piano most of the time I was awake, seven days a week. In many ways it was a dream come true. I had all the work I needed and I had students at my disposal to hone in on my beliefs about teaching and music.  It was during this time that I also bit the bullet and started my own practice coaching business. All of this kept me busy until May of this past year. In January I had started to experience some overuse issues and by the end of the semester, after playing for about 25 different recitals,  my body clearly shouted, "STOP!"   At the same time my position at the University became quite complicated so I decided it was time for me to see the closed doors for what they were - an open door to something new.

So here is where I stood by the middle of the summer...

I had no official job and almost no playing commitments so that my body could heal; I was looking forward to a handful of speaking engagements about practicing and music education around Virginia, Tennessee, and Florida; and I was eager to have more time to concentrate on research, writing, and my business.  I realized pretty quickly that this year had the potential to be an extraordinary one, even with all the mystery, insecurity, and lack of finances.  I applied for a full-time job at the university library where I had just resigned in an attempt to be a "responsible" adult but apparently that wasn't meant to be.  Then one day I was at the local toy store with my daughter when the thought crossed my mind, "I wonder if they ever have any job openings here."  I looked around for the owner thinking that if I saw her there I would ask her then and there - a thought that is completely out of character for me.  She wasn't there so I shelved that idea.  A week later I was up in Pennsylvania having some Alexander Technique lessons when I received an e-mail from the toystore saying that they had part-time positions open.  Needless to say, I felt like my stars were starting to realign, granted in a completely different constellation.  But in my book any type of alignment was a step in the right direction.

Now I work in a fantastic toystore part-time that's within walking distance of our house and have time to do what I need to do to try to kick my practice coaching business in the rear to make something finally happen. In this past month I have thirstily gobbled up books about practicing and education that are turning my brain into a whirlwind of ideas, I have busily been putting together my presentations for my upcoming workshops, I have been carefully rebuilding myself as a pianist, I've begun work on a new workbook I'm cooking up for musicians and teachers, and I've enjoyed spending more time at home with my family.  I truly couldn't be happier!  Yes, I could be making a lot more money (I'm currently earning minimum wage which has really opened my eyes to what it's like for a huge part of our population in this country), I could have a job that gives my family "benefits" (but what does one have to sacrifice to get them?), and I could have a job in academia (but again, at what cost?) but in all honesty I'm finding it terribly amusing to watch my life play out right now.  I truly sense that something is in the works...I just don't know exactly what it is.

There you have it!  That's what's been happening in my life.  I suppose I could be grumpy about what's transpired but I'm not.  I realize that I have been handed a gift.  At times I felt like I was in the middle of a storm this past year but now I feel like I'm climbing up the rainbow that has served as an encore to what came before.

So here's to the journey!  And many, many thanks to everyone in my life that has given me so much incredible support.  I am so very grateful.

P.S. - If anyone has any thoughts about what I could be doing next, by all means, please do share!  And if you want some practice coaching, check out how I can help.     

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Mind and body blown, the Alexander technique way

"Mind blown."

© Elnur - Fotolia.com

I've heard that phrase a lot recently but I've been pretty reluctant to use it until now. In one of my recent posts I brought up an issue I've been dealing with that I was slightly hesitant to discuss – having physical issues and pain at the piano. I was so amazed and grateful for the responses I received after writing that post. The words of encouragement, the personal stories, and the suggestions were all so appreciated and I've learned a lot in the past week and a half thanks to those comments. One of the first things I did was respond to a comment that a Twitter friend had made to me that her piano teacher is also a certified Alexander Technique instructor and has helped many musicians with solving issues similar to mine. She made it very tempting and easy to look into the possibility of working with him. Although this is completely unlike me, I immediately stopped what I was doing, consulted with my husband, and sent an email to Robert Bedford.   Within a handful of hours I had received a reply and an invitation to travel up to West Chester, Pennsylvania to engage in a week-long series of intensive Alexander Technique work.   In a little over 24 hours I was in the car and on my way.

At this point I think it's important for me to be honest about my previous experience with Alexander Technique. When I was a student at Eastman there was a period of time when the school brought in teachers to work with groups of students.  At that time Alexander Technique was completely new to me – I had never even heard of it before. To try and keep this post short, let's just say that my exploration of it didn't last long.  I was young, I thought I was invincible, and quite frankly I felt silly and uncomfortable doing what I was being asked to do, especially in front of my peers, so I stopped going.  Fast forward many years – my husband, a singer, signed up to take lessons from an Alexander Technique teacher while we were living in Ann Arbor, Michigan.   He thrived on everything he learned and being the conscientious person he is, he incorporated it into his life beautifully. Unfortunately I had yet to let go of the vain side of myself so I continued to pooh-pooh it until (I hate to admit this) last week. It is amazing to me how powerful being brought to one's knees can be.

With all this said, I went into my week long session with desperation, a bit of doubt and apprehension, but also with a bit of hope and curiosity. I also went into it knowing full well that it was time for me to grow up and to not care how I looked in front of another human being.

As the title of this blog post suggests, the week was amazing and surprised me in so many ways. I think it was a combination of me being ready to receive what I needed to hear and experience, and working with an inspiring, patient teacher who seems to enjoy thinking and asking difficult questions as much as I do that helped contribute to the success of these intensive sessions. It would be hard to describe everything that transpired but I'd like to share here some of the biggest revelations that truly did blow my mind and that are now transforming the way I use my body and my mind.

• Having played piano for over 35 years, having my hands rest in a pronated, perhaps even an over-pronated position as if they were on a keyboard, feels more natural to me than anything else.  In fact, that is typically how you'll find my hands when they are resting, whether or not I'm at a piano.  Up until now, when my hands were engaged in a"more natural position,"  it caused quite a bit of discomfort.  Realizing that really blew me away.  I started understanding that my default resting position has the two bones in my forearm constantly crossing one another. That doesn't seem very restful to me now that I know that.   A parallel situation that helped me to internalize the ramifications of my default way of resting my hands was when Dr. Bedford told me about a ballerina that he has worked with. When lying on her back, with her knees bent and upright, she had pain when he brought her knees together – a position that takes no effort and has no painful side effects for most of us.   Letting her legs open and fall in opposite directions, however, was her norm.  For both her and me, we have unknowingly asked our bodies to accept a position of rest that is not anatomically the best for us and might be the cause of some of our discomfort.  With that in mind, I am now being more conscious of releasing my hands from an over-pronated position and having that be my new norm.

• Through the years I have completely lost touch with my ankles, thighs, hips, collarbone, and elbows, just to name a few body parts.  I seem to have relied exclusively on my forearms, wrists, hands, and fingers. I have asked the smaller muscles to do everything I need to do whether it's at or away from the piano rather than using the larger muscles to support and lead the smaller ones. When I was working with Dr. Bedford and he made me aware of these neglected pieces of the puzzle, I was speechless and I could feel the gears in my brain starting to turn as I realized how much I've been misusing by body and how unfair I've been to my arms and hands. It's no wonder my body is rebelling.   One example of this issue in my piano playing is how I sit on the piano bench.  Up until now I have gone for the "bird perched on the edge" approach, to use Dr. Bedford's words.   My thighs have had very little, if any contact with the bench which meant that I wasn't using those muscles to help support and direct upward the top part of my body from the hips up and to help stay grounded through my feet.  Not only did this mean I wasn't utilizing important muscles, it also meant that I was constantly using other smaller ones in order to maintain my balance.   With this in mind, before I engage in any movement now, I take the time to figure out how I can involve those bigger muscles at all times and to purposefully check my awareness of them.

• Being a good sight-reader and a pianist for whom technique has come quite naturally is both a blessing and a curse.  It has gotten me this far for this long without a lot of struggle.  But a drawback is that I am not accustomed to thinking about how to physically translate what I see on the page into functional movement.  My connection between eyes and hands are instantaneous and unfortunately without regard to what really is wise.  This has been fine up until now but my body is telling me that something has to change.  I'm going to have to start using my head.  Fortunately I like thinking so although this will be an adjustment, I think I will get into it when I'm at the piano.  As my Alexander Technique teacher has encouraged me to do I am starting to say "Stop!" when I would typically launch right into doing something.  Especially when I'm at the piano, where ingrained habits meet my passion to communicate through music, this is going to be essential.

This list is just the tip of the iceberg really but it is a start. Since returning home I have been practicing and thinking about these new concepts and I'm enjoying noticing a difference in how I feel in whatever I'm doing. I am currently reading, Body Learning: An Introduction to the Alexander Technique, by Michael J. Gelb and also a book that my teacher recommended to bring what I've been learning to the piano, The Pianist's Talent, by Harold Taylor.  And even though it just about killed me emotionally to do this, I have found a replacement to play for me at a summer camp I work at so that I can spend the next month resting, assimilating Alexander Technique concepts, and rethinking my technique at the piano.  In a month I will hopefully be traveling back up to Pennsylvania for another round of lessons because now that I've had both my mind and body blown, I am ready and eager for more!

Here's to a future of healthy playing.  I'll keep posting about this journey in the weeks to come. Stay tuned!

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One musician's painful dilemma

© misu - Fotolia.com

I am writing this post because I want to be honest and because the subject I'm about to bring up is one that is often shoved under the carpet. Thankfully, I think more and more musicians are starting to open up about this topic which is leading to more information being made accessible. But even with this new sense of openness, I have to admit that I am still hesitant to write about what I've been dealing with the past few months.

All right, enough procrastinating.

Who knows when it all started. What I do know is that I have had two years of playing and performing piano with virtually no break at all.   I have also been accompanying too many people. I now know that I have, without a doubt, a limit. This is where it starts to get a little embarrassing. I should've known. I did know that I had a limit. But in all honesty I didn't know what to do.   I love playing, I love experiencing new music, I love working especially with young musicians, and I absolutely adore performing - it's all downright addictive to me. I also suffer from what I think a lot of other accompanists suffer from - the overachieving accompanist syndrome.  I live in a small town with two colleges music departments in my backyard.   It's like living in the musical equivalent of an all-you-can-eat buffet.   Yet there aren't many pianists in the area that can or will take on the work.   We collaborators also typically love to swoop in and save the day - it's in our genes.   And I don't want to leave out the economic side of all of this. I am a freelance pianist and an adjunct professor; my husband is in the beginning of starting up a private voice studio after his struggles in academia.   We have no full-time job between the two of us so each musician I say yes to accompany becomes part of the patchwork that is our income.  It is not easy to say no to work and it doesn't help when I happen to love what I do.

Back to my story...

This past December, as most people were headed to vacations and celebrations with family I was crazily putting together a solo piano recital since I had applied for a full time teaching position at the university where I've been working the past three years. I (wrongfully) assumed  that I would make it into the final round of interviews (that's good fodder for another post) and would need to give a recital so I had one month in which to throw something together.  At the same time I was preparing for that, I was also having to learn music for the upcoming onslaught of student recitals, which totaled around 25.  (I am now letting out a groan in complete awareness of how I dug my own grave.) Since it was also my daughter's vacation I was doing my typical thing with her which more often than not consisted of wrestling and tickling each other.  It was during one of those times that I felt something happen in my upper back and shoulder. I didn't think much of it at the time and I don't know that it would have become an issue had I not also been practicing so much, but it quickly became a problem and I started getting this horrible pit in the bottom of my stomach as I recognized that I would soon have a dilemma on my hands, pun completely intended.

Perhaps I should've stopped then.   But it's so hard. I had agreed to play for over 20 recitals and countless other juries and smaller performances.  It's not so easy to just call everyone up and say, "Sorry folks, can't play!"  (I actually did call up a colleague to ask for help but she couldn't come up with any alternatives either.)  This was not a simple matter - that's one of the things I want to get across in this blog post.   I think it can be easy for people looking into a situation like this to simply shake their heads and dismiss a musician such as myself saying something like, "She did it to herself.  She should have known to stop."   One side of me agrees with this but when it's your life, what you love, your sole means of providing income for your family and when there aren't many, if any, that can do what you do?  And then there's the fear that if you tell people what's going on you'll never be asked to play again.  I'm telling you right now it is downright terrifying.

I chose to plow on as carefully as I could. I immediately found a chiropractor in town that I trusted, I told her my situation and she understood.   We set up a plan to meet on a regular basis so that we could hopefully slow down and avoid any further damage. I also stopped practicing once I was done giving my solo recital.   For the entire semester any playing I did was for rehearsals and performing.  I did not see a doctor and I did not go to physical therapy -  I relied instead on my chiropractor, advil, and arnica while religiously doing exercises that I learned from the chiropractor, the Internet, and from physical therapists I have had in the past.

Why did I not go to the doctor or to see a physical therapist?   I have dealt with similar issues twice before,  once when I was still in school and another time as an adult. The first time I had to stop playing I returned home to consult with a world-renowned hand doctor and surgeon in San Francisco.   He referred me to physical therapy but after months of doing that and being miserable I still didn't feel any better. I returned to college, was approved to take non-musical classes while recovering and started seeing a chiropractor who also happened to be the organist at our church. In a month of seeing him my problems started to go away. By the next semester I was playing again pain-free.  Later when I developed issues I again saw a chiropractor who was able to help me within weeks.  That is why I didn't go to the doctors or to physical therapy this time.  I hadn't had success the first time so I didn't want to potentially waste the time or the money.  Keep in mind neither my husband or I have full-time jobs.  Difficult choices have to be made.

© lily - Fotolia.com

So here I am not feeling better yet, not playing very much, not sure what's going to happen next year, and afraid to even type.  (This is the maiden voyage of me using Dragon Dictation to write a blog post!)   Obviously this is not a great situation.   But to make lemonade out of lemons, I'm learning a lot about my body, I'm working on understanding how I can use my body better at the piano, and I am having to start thinking outside the box again, which in my mind is always a healthy activity.   I don't know exactly what's going to happen in the next year although I have already reduced my playing commitments significantly.   I'm trusting that in the end I will have a delicious, refreshing pitcher of lemonade by my side as I once again take to the piano to play my little heart out.

With all this said, I would ask that folks reading this be understanding and to not make comments that beat me up for how I've dealt with this most recent situation.  Trust me - I've had plenty of that already from myself!  Thank you.

For any musicians reading this who are experiencing pain while playing, know that you are not alone.  There are a lot of resources and wonderful helpful people out there right now - find them, ask me, or look at the comments below!  I am happy to help if I can and I'm hoping that people in the know will make some suggestions right here.

Here's to healthy playing!

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